I don't like Pride Rounds
Are you raising the rainbow flag? Or waving a red rag to a bull?
I am someone who has opinions for a living. This means I am called upon when there are certain events which hit the intersections of my identity. This started with me being contacted any time there was a challenge for women in sport. Initially this just meant denouncing instances of sexism but has grown to calling out her twin sister, transphobia.
I am not trans but I am visibly queer enough to get caught by the same bigotry. Sports is where I was first aggressively misgendered. Bigots don’t care about anyone’s pronouns.
I know enough of our history to see old attack lines repurposed. The myth of cis women’s fragility were once the gates locked to keep us out of sport. Now they are used to trap us into ever narrowing definitions of gender.
I know enough about the world to know that while forming the opinions is easy enough for me, sharing them can be hard. It can be career limiting to call out institutions, it can be dangerous to take on zealots. Being a freelancer with an HR department of just me, I have to try to ration out how much agitation I bring my way in a work week. Filtering out the harassment always takes more time then writing the thing.
But what’s the point in a platform if you’re not using it to try and lift others up alongside you?
With the International Olympic Committee looking to continue it’s form in gender policing and exclusion, I was asked to fire up my reckons machine. I already knew I would be in for some attention from those that claim to “speak up for women” having put my signature on the open letter that was to be released today. So after checking in with members of the community I would be writing about, I did my job and shared my opinion.
Meanwhile though, another shitty story had been gathering headlines. The New Zealand men’s basketball franchise, opting out of the Pride round. It’s a topic hitting another intersection of my identity so of course folks wanted my opinion.
I couldn’t put this one out though, not this week. I had enough on my plate with all the transphobes that I didn’t have capacity to take on the homophobes too. Besides, my opinion on this may also be unpopular with members of my own community. Regardless of the decision of this men’s team, I just don’t like Pride rounds in sports.
To me, they are to sports what international women’s day is to business. Cupcakes at morning tea won’t solve structural sexism nor will a rainbow jersey won’t undo a culture of homophobia. It’s simply a way to be seen to have a conversation while leaving the most important part left unsaid.
Visibility matters yes. But without proper care, that visibility becomes a target.
My friend Sam Lovett spoke about this issue in relation to women in sport a little while ago. Articulating some of the same themes underlying my discomfort of Pride rounds. If only sport would take this type of care for all the communities they claim to champion.
Instead the reality is that brace myself each Rainbow round to see an uptick in homophobia. See the slurs pour in on social media posts. The laugh reacts at my existence. To see some player claim their religion or culture as a shield for their participation, knowing full well those things are why we have been sidelined in ours. To be called on, once again, to explain that the team wearing a rainbow won’t mean I now want to scissor my girlfriend centre court.
These rounds are more authentic in women’s sports because they are a celebration of the community that already exists. A demonstration of diversity rather than a first step towards inclusion. They have been painful of late though as they play into the politics of the day. Rainbowfying their logos as their governors vote to ban trans athlete’s from our sport.
If you raise a rainbow flag, you need to be safe for all those that gather under it. Otherwise it simply becomes a red rag to a bull. Making participation an opt in is a cop out, reinforcing the same rejection of us queers that these rounds are supposed to overturn.
So sports, don’t start a conversation you’re not willing to finish. Otherwise you’re leaving it up to us, once again, to justify why we deserve to stop being treated like shit. Do you really need to hear me share that opinion?
With you,
Alice
Another superbly written article expressing my own feelings