Kelly Brazier's Not Done Yet

Her plans for the future, in her own words.

It was a noisy Olympic Games. A back to back gold for New Zealand, a dogged silver for Canada and an historic bronze for USA. Legendary players like Portia Woodman-Wickliffe, Tyla King, Naya Tapper and Sharni Smale all announced their retirement. A documentary in the lead up dropped, following Sarah Hirini’s remarkable return to play. And we had a front row seat to Shiray Kaka truly exemplifying what it is to be a good teammate.

Despite all of this, I kept coming back to the same question - where is Kelly Brazier?

The last I had read she, like those in the above list, had indicated that she wanted Paris to be her swan song. But then the Olympic Squad came out and Brazier just wasn’t there.

Instead, she’d been unceremoniously relegated to the non-travelling reserves. It’s hard to imagine a man in the game with her credentials slipping to the sideline without a lot of questions. So of course, I decided to ask some.

What I found was another storyline that was completely missed from the build up. One that has lead Brazier to refocus her own plans for her future and her eventual retirement. So that when the time comes, she’ll be stepping off the pitch on her own terms.

So here’s my conversation with Brazier on what’s next for her, in her own words.

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Alice: So what's going on with you and sevens? What's the deal? Are you done?

Kelly: It's funny you say that. Honestly since the Olympics, just walking around the streets and that or with people I kind of know, they're like, ‘Oh, we thought you'd retired. You just haven’t made an announcement’. 

This year, pretty much day one of preseason, I got injured. Nothing major, a little calf tear. The following week I got back into running. So I had quite a spike in my load and my achilles was no good. That kept me out of the entire season, bar a couple of days before Madrid. 

Obviously, that cut my time pretty short to put my hand up for the Olympics. So I only got back on the field for the very last trial. Unfortunately, I wasn't selected so I had to watch on and support the girls from home. 

It was tough but I was stoked for them. A gold medal at the Olympics. I definitely know what it takes to get there and then to perform on that stage. So yeah, stoked for them but I guess for myself at the same time, it's like a stone in the shoe. An opportunity I know I've missed out on. 

Had I gone, I would have definitely called it time on my sevens career. But I feel a bit of unfinished business. So I'm hoping to get back on the sevens field later this year. I just have to keep the body in one piece.

It had been a pretty tough four or five months with my achilles and just wasn't getting better. I know our physio and support stuff were doing everything they could for me. But probably it was not realising the true nature of the injury. And some of that was on me. I just sucked it up and ran through it. I didn't realise the pain I was actually in until it just got to a point where I couldn't push through it.  

I think the team had flown to the Vancouver leg and there was only myself, Sarah (Hirini) and maybe little T (Terina Te Tamaki) who was injured at the time as well. I just remember doing these laps on the field and it was the second one and I was like, ‘I can't even run on it’. And I ended up sitting on the ground and having a cry. The other girls came over and comforted me. And that's when it sunk into myself, that nah this isn't right. 

I had that gut feeling that this wasn't going to get any better. I'd tried for the last couple of months and I was no closer. So I went outside and saw another physio. I ended up getting an injection and having a couple of weeks off my feet and literally since that day, I've had zero pain. 

I guess in hindsight now it’s something I could have done two or three months earlier and had a better shot at that Olympics. But, well, I said it's hindsight. I'll never know now. But it’s all part of the journey, part of the thing that gives you motivation to carry on.

Did it feel like people were retiring you? 

Yup to be honest, it does feel like that. Sometimes I question, is it my age? Is it just being there for years? Is it wanting the next wave? Yeah those are questions that definitely go through my head. But I also think to myself that I still believe I'm good enough. I still believe I can do the job and I still enjoy what I do. 

So until I don't, I'll continue to put my hand up and continue to motivate myself to train and put my best foot forward. And look, if I don't make it but I make someone else better because I'm pushing them, then I'm happy with that. 

I think I've had to find myself. Through the injuries you're at home, you're by yourself, your teammates aren't around you. So you have to or you're forced to. But I’ve been here before. When Covid hit, we had a five week old baby. I've got two boys now, four and 17 months. I've found since having them I've probably had more enjoyment in rugby. 

In the past, I was a rugby head. I'll go to work, I'll do rugby, I'll come home, I'll do rugby. Any spare minute my brain's thinking of new moves, ways to beat defences. What mistakes did I make at training? What did I do good? So I'll never switch off.

But since having the boys, I don't have a choice. As soon as I walk through that door, that's mum mode. They don't care what I've done that day. They don't care that I play rugby or the mistakes I've made at training.

Now I try when I'm at rugby to get everything done. Even if it means staying longer to do my analysis because I know once I'm home, it's mum mode. So to answer your question, I do know who I am outside of rugby and not quite ready for it yet. But once that chapter does finish, I'm excited by it and ready for what's next to come.

I guess it's nice that I'm able to do that because at the end of the day, it's not what I do, it's who I am to them. Loving them, taking care of them is what makes me happy and fills my heart. 

Olive Patrick of Milkshake Creative snaps Kelly, Tahlia and their boys.

I’ve written before about mum in rugby but a question I had for you Kelly - is there maternity cover for non-carrying parents? 

I want to say no but I think that’s probably because it's never been done. I've definitely thought about it at times but to be honest, I've probably been lazy and been lucky enough to have the support systems at home that I haven't needed it. But yeah, don't get me wrong, there's definitely times and I'm like, man, it would have been cool. 

I actually missed our youngest’s, Sully, birth by a day. Being in Vancouver and then we're only home for 10 days and then we're off to Hong Kong. So I did miss a lot, probably six or seven months, that if it was in place it would have been pretty cool to have a bit more time. 

Introducing parental support is a no brainer. I know within the environments I've been in, whenever there's been kids the girls, they just thrive off of it. It brings a sense of joy, happiness. So it's pretty cool when you do have them in the environment. It just adds that extra piece of home and family.

You talked about unfinished business, is that in a fifteens or a sevens jersey? 

Both. That’s the short answer.

Missing out on the Olympics and having not played all year, I think I'm stuck on 48 tournaments. I was meant to be the next to crack the 50, after Tyla (King) and Gossy (Hirini). So I really want to get to that half century. I want to go out on my own terms, rather than injury.

With fifteens obviously I missed the World Cup in New Zealand. So it would be cool to finish my career where it started, in fifteens. So yeah, I'm definitely keen to try and put my hand up. If it works out and I get a crack then, yeah, I'll be all for it. 

I'm so used to, over the years, the pressure I put on myself. So even though you say, ‘Oh it's FPC, there's no pressure, there's no one watching’, I feel the opposite of that. It's been a given for so many years that it's like, ‘Oh, we got a sevens player coming. She's meant to be better. She's meant to perform. She's meant to win the fitness. She's meant to be faster. They're not meant to make mistakes’. 

At the same time, I definitely do have the enjoyment of going back and playing some fifteens. It's where my career started so it's nice to get back on the field and honestly, see some of the young talent coming through. 

Now I'm like, reverse those roles, being one of those older girls that people look up to. So that's pretty special. And just trying to help, pass on some knowledge. If I can help them on the field to play better then that is what makes me happy. 

The young girls on the FPC team say, ‘You need to do a book’ because I think I’m not your typical ‘do everything as it’s meant to be done’ kind of person. Whether it's right or wrong, I aim for balance. I don't eat perfect or do everything perfect but I guess I've learnt over the years what works.

The one thing that I hold myself true to is my training.  It’s not that I don’t try when I’m with our team, it’s just that I have this internal drive. That when I’m by myself it's like a whole other level. I will run myself into the ground any chance I get. It's just a thing that's in me.

I know I’ve felt sometimes, when you go and play for other teams and they talk about pulling on the jersey, if you're not from there it's tough to relate. But for me it's the same colours, so it's like Otago. And even though I wasn't brought up here, being born and bred in Dunedin, it has been my home for the last 12 or 13 years now. It's where I've brought up my family. Both the boys were born here, so it is my home away from home. 

So despite it not being where I'm actually from, I’m still proud to represent the province. It's not often in my career the boys have actually got to come and watch me and be on the sideline. So it’s another cool thing after the games having them run up to me or just want to run on the field and give the girls a high five. 

Kelly is back where she started back as a 14 year old, playing in blue and gold in the Farah Palmer Cup.

Counties Manukau are switching things up and have named Hazel Tubic as a player / assistant coach this season. Is this something you’d be interested in?

I’d rather one or the other and not blur the lines. If you're on the field, you know what's happening directly on the field but you're missing that wider view in terms of a coach. There's limited roles so I guess it's a matter of putting it out there and trying to get your foot in the door. Because it’s a very small window of opportunities to coach.

I've done my level one and two, years ago now and I’ve been trying to pick off my level three, just to have it. I'm looking to get into this coaching course which is more focused on everything but the actual coaching of rugby. So everything that goes in behind being a coach. I’m looking to do that in this coming year to keep learning and keep growing while I'm still playing.  

I 100% want to coach once I've finished playing. I’m so passionate about it. I love the thinking side of it and feel like rugby has given me something for so many years, that I've got a lot to give back. I can relate, on a whole other level, to a lot of the players in terms of what it's actually like. What they're going through, the pressures, by the coaches, by yourself. 

Brazier will be running out for Bay of Plenty Volcanix this weekend in what should be a cracking showdown against Krysten Cottrell and the Hawke’s Bay Tui.

What else do you want to tell us Kelly?

A lot of people quite often say, ‘Do I wish I was born 10 years later?’ just with the opportunities that are given now. I say to people I'm actually glad because I feel like I've gotten to live out both eras. That no one else will ever get to. 

They were either the pre professional, which is why I think I love it because it was ladies that did it for pure enjoyment. They worked nine to five, had kids, but would find a way to train and do it because they just loved it. So when you were in camps and stuff like that, you felt like - and I probably was at the time - a kid at school camp. That kind of feeling. 

Now it's a complete 180. You're required to move. You're a professional. You're in there Monday to Friday. You don't have to have a job outside. You're told what to eat. You're told what time to turn up. 

So I think I can appreciate what we have now a lot more because I lived in the stage where it wasn't. You didn't fly business class, you weren't paid and that's the other side of things the young girls now will never know. 

I like the fact I got to have both eras. Because for me, I didn’t start playing rugby because it was in the Olympics. I didn't start playing because it was the only sport in New Zealand where you could get paid more than any other female sport. 

I started playing rugby because I loved sliding down the hills with my mates and playing in the mud and running around and having a good time.

That's where it's now taken me because I love it. Not because of the money or anything like that. I guess that's probably why I'm still here today too. It’s because of the pure enjoyment and the mates and the experiences along the way.

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So there you have it. Brazier is currently refamiliarising herself with fifteens to put together that highlight reel for the Aupiki coaches as they make their 2025 squad selections. Before that though, we should expect to see her knock off those two tournaments to clock up her 50th for the Black Ferns Sevens side.

Brazier will then be chasing inclusion in her fourth World Cup. After scoring 8 of the 13 points in the last final she played in England, I can’t think of a handier player to have on call.

Watch Brazier in action this weekend as she steers the Bay of Plenty Volcanix against the Hawke’s Bay Tui. Both teams will be chasing a win to keep them well away from relegation. But personally, I can’t wait to see Brazier and Cottrell square off.

And finally, a massive thank you to Kelly for sharing her story with us. So often, women in sport (and folks in general let’s be honest), have so little control over their stories. So I appreciate the trust players like Kelly have put in me to collaborate on these pieces. I get a lot out of them and I hope you do too!

If you want to go back and read up on any of the other stories like this I have put together, here’s a list of links for your quick reference:
- Samoa’s 1st five, Cassie Siataga on choosing to play for her homeland
- Liv McGoverne, on giving her Black Ferns dream another crack
- Rawinia Everitt, on her approach to coaching which ended up winning promotion for the Northland Kauri
- A love letter to Wallaroos head coach, Jo Yapp, from one of her former players, Stef Evans
- And finally Les Elder, on her last year in the Black Jersey.

With you,
Alice